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Happy Wednesday (my 3rd time up this am...)

903 Views 20 Replies 17 Participants Last post by  jimcfar
Good morning TRT,

I could say good evening and get away with it, as this is my 3rd time up (Tuesday nite or Wed morning, you decide) due to what seems to be a little sleeplessness after the attack of the killer mutant Palyotoxin... ... I will have to check Silverplatter at Washington University to see if there is a documented set of effects for this.

OK, so to relieve the "I cannot sleep" cycle, I DO have a new (very punny) joke...

The Gorgeous Redhead

A man is dining in an Italian Upscale restaurant and notices there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table (Alice?? nnnnaaaaahhhhhh.... :D ). His attention is held captive by her beauty and charm. He has been checking her out since he first noticed her, but lacks the nerve to break the ice.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out and grabs it out of midair. The two lock eye(s) for a moment, and he stands up, walks over to her table, sits down and hands it back to her...

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams (a 1000 gal reef...) and he shares his (a coral farm in the South Pacific...). She listens intently, fascinated, hanging on every word.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap... ...and breakfast...

They had an absolutely wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet omlet of shrimp and cheeses with homemade bagels with strawberry cream cheese, freshly ground Colombian coffee and little hand-made blueberry tarts. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!!

"You know," he says, "you have been so wonderful to me, the dinner, the theatre, all the wonderful things we shared last night, now this incredible breakfast! YOU are the perfect woman to me. I have to ask though, are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies...

Wait for it...

It's coming...

The suspense is killing you, isn't it? :rolleyes:

She says...

"You just happened to catch my eye."

:funny: :funny: :D :p :D :funny: :funny:

Yup, not enough sleep, that palyotoxin must have some neuroactivator complex associated with it...
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Mornin mornin... I'm headed to the school in a bit . asia's last day, so they are having field day, relay races, food, etc... should be fun.

So the CEO of Kentucky Fried Chicken calls up the pope.
Your excellancy, as you may know, KFC has been goign through some hard times recently. and i was wondering if you could change the lords prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to: "give us this day, our daily chicken" Then i belive that people will eat more chicken, and KFC will once again rise to the top of the fast food market.

The pope says, well that would be unethical of me, the lords prayer has remained unchanged for years.

The ceo of KFC says, tell ya what, i will donate 100 thousand dollars to the mission of your choice if you can do it. but, the pope isn't swayed.

a few weeks later, the CEo calls the pope again. Dear father, would you please reconsider changing the lords prayer to say "give us this day our daily chicken" KFC is falling more and more in debt. If you can do this for me, i will donate 500 thousand dollars to to any mission of your choice. but the pope isnt swayed.

a few weeks later the ceo once again calls the pope for his final plea. Your excellancy, i beg of you to please reconsider changing the lords prayer to say "give us this day our daily chicken" if you do, i will donate 1 MILLION dollars, AND 25% of KFC earnings for 5 years, to the vatican, or the mission of your choice.

The pope considers it, and decides that it sure is an awful lot of money, and could help a great number of less fortunate people around the world. so he says it's a deal.

Later that day the pope calls a meeting with his top cardinals and bishops. "Gentlemen, i have good news and bad news. The good news, is that KFC has offered us 1 million dollars, plus 25% of their earnings for the next 5 years, if we change the the lords prayer to 'give us this day our daily chicken' so i agreed. The bad news is...." And his top cardinal pipes up and says , "i guess that means we lost the Wonderbread account"

:funny: :funny:
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grazhopr, good to see ya this morning.. you've been mia for a while :) thought you drowned putting in your live rock :funny:
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