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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Although I have left out a lot of juicy stuff, this is the meat and bones. If you want to read a lot more and see some of the documents to support my story like police reports and so forth then visit this link. Additionally I updated the site for quite a while while new things were happening.

The good stuff is towards the end of this post!

A Father's Plight for Custody

There comes a moment in everyone's life where they look at the foot prints they have left behind and wonder who the person was who had been walking in their body.

The way to understand the plight is to understand the journey, thus it begins:

I was what some call a good 'ol country boy. Raised in southern Minnesota, never left the state, lived in the same town my entire life. I was the person who finished every test first, completed the teacher's sentences. Yes, the president of the science club, that was me. During the 9th grade I lived with my grandparents and watched my grandfather die of cancer while taking care of the 35 milking head dairy farm. I left my parents' home at the age of 17. I went forward to put myself through the first three years of college.

In college, I started as the 280lb geek from high school. While there I learned to eat only salad for lunch with low fat dressing and my dinner meal consisted of two slices of bread, one piece of sandwhich meat and a small bowl of salad with a glass of milk. Daily I would use the pool, run laps around the indoor running track around the ice arena. Every other day I would run 19 blocks to the local fish store to get something for my 10gallon tank or even just to look at the fish. Towards the middle of the year, I was approaching my goal of 165lbs. I noticed the pretty girls became more frequent shadows in my dorm room doorway. Had I known then what I know now, I may have lived a wild college life. Women did not interest me, it was just me, my fish, and my studies.

The money ran low, the next year I took living with my widowed grandmother. I took classes at the local community college. I paid my own way, with the help of a state grant and a perkins loan, I was struggling. I went to work at a fast food joint. Working full time and taking 20 credits of biology, chemistry, calculus, and physics is a rather demanding task. I found myself falling asleep driving to school in the morning. A couple of near misses later, I had to make a decision.

I was offered a management position at the fast food joint, the car was in serious need of replacing, thus, I quit school. I worked and moved through the ranks quickly being promoted to store manager. I left there for another company. Nine short months later, I was being moved to the Twin Cities. Two more months pass and I am promoted to another store manager position. Since I was the shy innocent farm boy lost in the big city, my employees decided to help me out.

They enrolled me in a voice personals dating service. I was finally starting to recognize the wonders of women. I met and dated several. My heart was broken several times. Then I met this one. Quite the opposite of what I was. She had life, vigor, and was very outgoing. I dated her for several months and finally lost my virginity to her at the ripe old age of 23. I proposed a short while later.

I tired of traffic, the crime and such of the big city. I announced I was moving home. I told her either she could come, or she could stay. She chose to come. We lived in my parents home for a while. I was working various jobs trying to find a decent one. Finally I decided I would try to truck driving. I was off, 2 weeks of school in Illinois, 15,000 miles with a trainer, and 15,000 miles with another student were the key to getting me in my own truck and back home. Two months later I called home, the other student and I were coming across the USA from Idaho on I90. Three hours later we were re-routed for a hot load back down south. I called home late that night and she was gone.

One month later I have my truck, I am going home. Delivering a few blocks from her mother's house in Minneapolis. As I am unloading I give her a call. Three days together and I have to leave for 3 weeks. Life continues 3 weeks at a time and off for 3 days for the next 9 months. I have finally had enough of not being able to get home on time. I apply for a job driving over the road for a local company and I am on my way back to Minnesota from Laredo Texas. Five days later, I am in a new truck with the new company heading East. Two weeks later I am home for a doctor appointment. Little did I know exactly how productive this time home would be!

One and a half months later I receive a voice mail that I am supposed to call her. She has been sick the last week and went to the doctor, she is pregnant. I head for Minnesota. She makes the doctor appointment for the day after I am supposed to be back. I am running behind schedule. I told her to pick me up at 7pm at the truck yard. I may make it on time. I hit Demoines Iowa and I hear on the CB, "Bestline, you got a flat." I turn off the CB and head north on I35 from I80. I am going to be home tonight. Around Northfield Minnesota, I finally lost the tire cap. Now the steel belts are sparking on the pavement, I am going to make it home tonight. I lose the entire tire when I hit Eagan, Minnesota. I pull off the ramp, drive 5 miles to the yard and drop the trailer and leave a message with dispatch to get the tire fixed and have someone else deliver the load.

The next morning I find out just how much my future mother in law hates me, and end up not causing problems and skipping the doctor appointment. While I am home we get a house and start to move in. I go back to my routine of 2 weeks on the road 2 weeks off.

One month later I call home to tell her when I would be home. She said she is going to be working. I drop the trailer at Wal-Mart and take the tractor home. Just as I am expecting her home from work the phone rings. It is a police officer. The officer explains that she does not have a license and I need to go pick up her and the car. So I head into town in a semi-tractor. I get there and the officer pulls me off to the side. He then proceeds to ask me one of the most life altering questions, "Do you know how old she is?" My response is, "Of course, she is 20." The officer then proceeds to tell me she is actually 17, and has no license. I leave the tractor there in the parking lot and take her home in absolute silence. Later that night after a long talk it was decided that I loved her, and we would work through it.

Two weeks later I am bound for the Minnesota/South Dakota border out of New York. I did not call home as I planned just to drop the laundry off and continue on and come home the next morning after I dropped off my delivery.

I walk in the house and can hear people in the bedroom. There they are, she is cheating on me. I look directly at them, and say, "You have until I get to my truck and get my gun to get the F*ck out of my house." He left pulling on his pants as I walked out to get my gun. I got back in the house, and she is sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette. I looked at her and said, "I have to deliver this load in the morning, I will be back tomorrow afternoon," and walked out. I returned the next afternoon, walked in the door, and told her she had exactly two weeks to get the hell out of my house. I called up dispatch and left.

Two weeks pass and I am heading for home. It is Easter weekend. I get home and she is still there. I am pissed now, we get in a huge fight, and her boyfriend shows up. The police end up being called and watch as she packs her stuff and escort her and her boyfriend out of my house. I washed my clothes, and called up dispatch. I was gone again that afternoon.

I was gone for 2 months, came home to check on things, and sitting on my door step is the first picture I ever saw of my daughter. It is an ultrasound and it shows her spine. Scrawled along is the edge is the message, "Our daughter has more of a spine than you do."

I call dispatch and leave again. I am gone for 3 months and come home 2 days before the due date. The due date comes and goes. I call dispatch and get a load going to Ohio. At this time a another driver is staying at my place when he is home and he walks in the door. He drops his bag and sits down on the couch after being up all night. He takes a short nap and is awoken by the phone. The phone interrupts me packing my bag to leave. She calls to tell me my daughter was born at 5:34pm. It is now 8:30pm and I have 600 miles to go overnight.

My friend asks me what is wrong, and I tell him. He takes the phone from me, calls dispatch tells them to transfer my load to his truck and he grabs his bag. He walks out the door, shakes my hand, and says, "I got your load, go take care of your daughter."

I call up my best friend on his cell phone. He is in Janesville Wisconsin. Tell him what is going on, and he says he will be home in the morning, he is dropping his load and coming home empty. That morning he drives me to the hospital.

I am physically sick, and shaking like a leaf. I walk into the hospital room to be greeted by the ex-to be mother in law, and the current boyfriend I caught her cheating on me with. I just stand there dumbfounded. She says, "What your not even going to hold your daughter?" I was shaking so badly I could not. I sat down in the chair or else I would drop her, and she handed me my daughter. The tears were streaming down my face. The ex-to be mother in law, says, "Oh please!" I ignore her and sit there in silence with the tears streaming down my face holding my daughter. I am brought back to reality by a camera flash. My best friend took a picture of me holding my daughter with the tears streaming down my face. Twenty minutes later I leave.

I end up seeing my daughter almost every day that week for about 30 minutes a time, whenever her mother can sneak away from the boyfriend. I then called dispatch and tell them what is going on. They route me to the main terminal in New Ulm Minnesota. The president of the company wants to talk to me. I walk into his office, and he hands me his business card with his cell phone, home phone and Dad's cell phone numbers on it. He says to me, "I am going through a divorce right now so I know how you feel, if you ever need to talk anytime day or night, give me a call."

I load up my load going to Cedar Falls Iowa. It takes me a day to get there I am crying the whole way there. I call dispatch and he wants to know if I am going to do anything harmful, I said no, just bring me home. They route me to Chicago then home. It takes me 3 days to get from Chicago to Rochester, Minnesota.

I unload and look for a local job. I get a job delivering apples to grocery stores and call up the president and tell him thankyou and turn in the truck. Meanwhile I am trying to get a paternity test done. She will not agree to it. So it looks like I am going to have to do it the hard way. Finally my mother has had enough, she and I drive to Minneapolis to see my daughter. They will not let us see her. My mother tells the ex-to be mother in law about the paternity test. She says, "come hell or high water she will be there." She then slams the door in my mother's face. The next week we are sitting in Minneapolis waiting to get our testing done.

Three weeks later I have the results of the test in my hand and am sitting in the attorney's office. I am adamant about getting custody since I am 96.845% the father. I still do not know everything that is going to lead to custody at this point. I am going after custody more out of spite than anything. The attorney is more than happy to take my money.

Nine months, $50,000, three court hearings, $5,100 in debt to the attorney, and one house later, all I have to show is the right to pay child support and every other weekend visitation. During this time, I find out she is doing drugs. She also is leaving our daughter at peoples' houses and cannot remember where she left her. However, my attorney still cannot get me custody.

I fire my attorney. I am now totally broke, no house, and living back with grandmother, and working a $9/hr job. I am now poor and finally able to get a court appointed attorney like she has. The first court appointed attorney cannot represent me as he is representing the city against her for drugs. She came to my house to pick up our daughter from visitation stoned and passed out in the house. I called the police and they searched her and found drugs and my daughter stayed with me another day.

I meet with the second appointed attorney. I walked out of his office thinking he was the biggest prick on the earth. I then realized, I have nothing to lose! I accepted the appointment of William Thomas as my attorney.

I was currently paying $320 per month in child support. The second week in August the week after my daughter's first birthday she drops her off at my house and disappears. I pay child support and take care of my daughter until January 14th. This day is another life changing moment. I am granted TEMPORARY custody of my daughter. The child support finally stops. However, I paid her child support for 4 months while I had my daughter. My attorney just says to accept it as a loss.

The 'mom' now cheats on the boyfriend with his ex-girlfriend. That's right, she has turned lesbian. After a month or so, the three of them move in together. Several minor drug busts later, she is caught driving with enough drugs to convict her of a felony. Meanwhile she is still fighting me to get custody back.

She is in and out of prison every couple of months for a while. We have various court hearings setting 6 month time frame for visitation. She makes it to the first 3 or 4 visits then we never see her again until we head back to court trying to get permanent custody. All this while she is not paying child support and I am fighting with the courts to try and make her.

Now the 'mom' cheats on her current lesbian lover with the lover's best friend. There are several acts of vandalism between the ex-lesbian lover and her. Meanwhile I start to get followed and weird things happening. I take everyone one I know she is acquainted with to court for restraining orders. I get restraining orders on everyone. Life is quiet for a year.

We go back to court to try again to get permanent custody. They only set up a 6 month visitation re-introduction with the mother. The mother does the classic 3 visits then disappears. Eight months go by and she shows up out of the blue. I told her no, we need to go back to court. We get to court and find out the Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) who is supposed to speak in the best interest of the child, is a close friend of the current lesbian lover. The GAL submits to the court that I am not co-operating and immediate custody should be given to the mother! The court says no, an sets up another 6 month visitation plan. The mother pulls another classic 3 visit episode and disappears.

My attorney becomes ill with cancer. The 6 months is up and out of the blue the GAL calls me to set visitation. I tell her no, she helps the other attorney file contempt charges against me, as her word is supposedly the same as a court order. My attorney is in the hospital on his death bed and I do not have another attorney. One week before the contempt hearing, I am given another attorney. This does not give us much time to prepare. Three days before the hearing I finally get to meet with the new attorney.

Once I left the attorney's office, I went to the hospital. I walked in to find my old attorney a sliver of the man he used to be. I talk to him for about 15 minutes. I tell him I want to thank him in person for everything he has done for me. I thought he got me permanent custody, change of name, child support etc etc. I was going to leave and he placed his hand over my heart and said, "Patrick, you have a good heart and Samantha is lucky to have you as the father, you did all the hard work, I just did the legal stuff." I cried all the way out to my car when I left his room. William Thomas died that night.

I get to court 2 days later for my contempt hearing. Standing there is a different attorney. I ask her where my new attorney is, and she says she is there in his place as he cannot be there that day. The contempt hearing begins. They want to change custody. Supposedly during the last court hearing when permanent custody was awarded my dead attorney never wrote and submitted the court order due to his illness. I was back at square one. They did not find me in contempt. They gave her overnight visits for the first time ever. Please remember now, we are still testing positive for cocaine. Additionally, they set another 6 month visitation period to be re-evaluated at the end of the 6 months and the GAL discharged after the 6 months. The first weekend visit went fine. The next visit left me with the police at my door at 9pm on Saturday night. They were accusing me of molesting my 4yr old daughter. She was currently being given a rape exam at the hospital. Sunday night at 6pm she was supposed to come home, but she could not. Thus with her mother's drug history she was placed in 72 hour protective care. Monday was filled with interviews with social services, and phone calls. Finally Wednesday after finding no evidence of molestation whatsoever, my daughter was returned to me. The mother disappeared again.

I hired a new attorney to submit the correct orders and force the judge to sign the already adjudicated decisions. I paid him $1500 to finish it all off. We had to shove the orders down the court's throat almost literally. Meanwhile the GAL set up every road block to completing the orders possible. We had to subpoena the actual court records at $100 per transcript and submit them as evidence to make the judge sign the orders. Meanwhile the GAL was abusing her powers trying to stop us. Finally I recorded a phone conversation with the GAL that showed her bias and we threatened to sue her for malpractice. Never heard a word from the GAL until 2 months after the visitation ran out. We received a letter stating that the mother was absent, wanted nothing to do with the child, I should have full custody, and the mother if she ever wanted should petition the court if she ever wanted visitation again.

Two weeks after receiving that letter, I received a copy of all the court orders. All were signed and an additional bonus! The GAL was discharged from our case, 'mom' no longer has visitation, and the case is closed. Thus in one fell swoop after over 4 yrs of court battles, drugs, infidelity, lesbianism, the decay of morals, and down right bias in the court system, I have custody of my precious little girl!

398 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
BTW, I need the 250W ballast for a new reef tank I am setting up for my grandmother! I have absolutely everything except the lighting! Would like to do a single 250w ushio on the new 58gallon oceanic, NO! I am not ill, pretty weak lighting considering I am setting up the tank!!!!:funny:
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