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Weapons Inspectors
Subject: Inspection Teams
Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection
teams who have
arrived in Iraq? They're all men!
How in the name of the United Nations does anyone
expect men to find
Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind
spot when it comes to
finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find
the dirty clothes
hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it
falls out of the cupboard
and splatters on the floor.... and these are the
people we have sent into
Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass
destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent
in. Mothers can
sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a
gram of dope. Mothers
can
find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic
beneath the
rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and
one floor away. They can
tell
when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and
notice when a quarter
inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A
mother can smell alcohol
on your breath before you get your key in the front
door and can smell
cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining
laundry, a mother knows
more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a
mother wants an
answer to question, she can read an offenders eyes
quicker than a homicide
detective.
So... considering the value a mother could bring to
an inspection team,
why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely
on electronic equipment
to scout out hidden threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in
one hand, grab
Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap,
"Young man, do you have
any
weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him if he
tried to lie to
her. She'd march him down the street to some secret
bunker and shove his
nose
into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do
you call this, mister?"
Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And shed lay some
stripes across his bare
bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in
front of the whole
of Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize
for lying about it, hed
cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole
darn summer.
You want the job done? Call my mother.
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__________________
When considering courage in battle, one should remember that there are 2 sides to every conflict.
The heroism of the losing side rarely gets remembered
but we were all husbands and fathers, sons and bros
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That's great, Doug!
"A BRW Original"
