testing, just ignore this thread

[tdwyatt]

Sorry Again, this one was hashed out in Mod and till someone cmplained or escalated nothing was done but in fairness, it does violate the rather liberal No Politics criteria of M'Ville

[tdwyatt]

Sorry Tom, that one was a bit to blatant, but funny

[tdwyatt]

Jeeze, I figured the 'bama ome would get axed...

Try this one, it came from ne of my buds down at the ARC:



After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New
York Scientists found traces of copper wire dating
back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their
ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks
that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth
of 20 feet, and shortly after, A story in the LA Times read:
"California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year
old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an
advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than
the New Yorkers".

One week later, The Atlanta Journal, a local newspaper
in Atlanta, GA reported the following: After digging as
deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Winder, GA
Bubba Brown, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found
absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, GA
had already gone wireless.

Just makes you proud to be from Georgia

[FishDaddy]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

Jeeze, I figured the 'bama ome would get axed...

Hmmmm....no, but it might get you on that White House list.......

Bubba Brown, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found
absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, GA
had already gone wireless.

Just makes you proud to be from Georgia

Spoken like a true South Carolinian.

You must be feeling better.

Dick

[tdwyatt]

Originally Posted by FishDaddy

Hmmmm....no, but it might get you on that White House list.......


Spoken like a true South Carolinian.

You must be feeling better.

Dick

Much better, but I'd hate to think that we'd have a reason to see a new Illuminati rise again...

...Galileo's been dead for 367 years

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

Much better, but I'd hate to think that we'd have a reason to see a new Illuminati rise again...

...Galileo's been dead for 367 years

Glad you are feeling better

Oh and the Illuminati never left

[tdwyatt]

97,726 views on 08-16-09, I think I'll go experiment on my yellow cake recipe...

[jenglish]

I took a beer bottle to the recycling center, but they wouldn't take it.
They said: "This is the pint of no return."

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

If you put beer into your water bed, do you end up with a foam mattress?

[Loverotties]

Originally Posted by jenglish

If you put beer into your water bed, do you end up with a foam mattress?

At least youl'd be a "head".

[tdwyatt]

After a long ride without stopping for food or drink, the Lone Ranger and Tonto set up camp for the night in preparation for a repeat the next day.. After they ate and got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe… look towards sky… … what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that the Perseid meteor shower is iat its peak, and there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, that the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant next to Him. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"







"I tells me you’re dumber than buffalo dung. It means someone stole tent. "

[Chops29]

Two muffins in an oven one muffin looks over at the other one and says " man it's hot in here"
the other turns and says "Holy crap, a talking muffin!!"

[chrisd]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

After a long ride without stopping for food or drink, the Lone Ranger and Tonto set up camp for the night in preparation for a repeat the next day.. After they ate and got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe… look towards sky… … what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that the Perseid meteor shower is iat its peak, and there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, that the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant next to Him. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"







"I tells me you’re dumber than buffalo dung. It means someone stole tent. "

i never heard that one

[tdwyatt]

An old South Georgia farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning ‘til night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule, sssoooooo..

He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife begrudgingly brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again.

Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.








"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

An old South Georgia farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning ‘til night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule, sssoooooo..

He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife begrudgingly brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again.

Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.








"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

I of course have NO COMMENT

[FishDaddy]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

That one falls into the same category as the one about the farmer's wedding day.

On the way home from the church in their wagon, the farmer's mule balked and stopped in the road. The farmer got out, took his whip and gave the mule a few licks, said "That's One", and they continued down the road. The bride frowned but said nothing. The mule stopped again and again, the farmer got out but this time really laid into the mule with the whip, saying "That's Two". The bride glared at him and said she thought that was a little harsh. After another mile or so, the mule balked again. This time, the farmer said "That's Three", got his gun and shot the mule right between the eyes, killing him dead. The bride really went off on her new husband, screaming, yelling, and calling him terrible names. The farmer simply looked at her and said.................



"That's One."

Dick