testing, just ignore this thread

[FishDaddy]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

"No problem, dearie," cackled one of the old ladies. "After all, nothing says lovin' like something from the coven, and pills buried says it best."

A prize winner, Tom!

Dick

[tdwyatt]

I sent it to Alton, we'll see what he thinks of it.

[Loverotties]

Oldie but a goodie!
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped
him on the shoulder.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up
over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still
shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!!

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't
realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my
first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.'
__________________

[gouch]

Originally Posted by Loverotties

Oldie but a goodie!
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped
him on the shoulder.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up
over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still
shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!!

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't
realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my
first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.'
__________________

I lOVE it.

[gouch]

god created the earth, and then he create adam.
adam was in the garden and as he walked around god noticed he looked kinda lonely.

so god came to adam and said, "adam i want to give you some company."
adam says, "that sounds great god what is she gonna be like"
god replied, "she is gonna be beautiful, she will help you clean up, cook for you, make sure you are always happy, and wait on you hand and foot".
BUT, god said, "its gonna cost you an arm and a leg".

adam says,"that sounds great but what can i get for a rib?"

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by Loverotties

Oldie but a goodie!
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped
him on the shoulder.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up
over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still
shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!!

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't
realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my
first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.'
__________________

Hhahaha, (wiping dinner off the monitor)

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by gouch

god created the earth, and then he create adam.
adam was in the garden and as he walked around god noticed he looked kinda lonely.

so god came to adam and said, "adam i want to give you some company."
adam says, "that sounds great god what is she gonna be like"
god replied, "she is gonna be beautiful, she will help you clean up, cook for you, make sure you are always happy, and wait on you hand and foot".
BUT, god said, "its gonna cost you an arm and a leg".

adam says,"that sounds great but what can i get for a rib?"

For some reason that joke reminds me of the MASH episode where Hawkeye is trying to get an order of BBQ sent from Adams Ribs in Chicago, with extra sauce

[gouch]

Originally Posted by Doug1

For some reason that joke reminds me of the MASH episode where Hawkeye is trying to get an order of BBQ sent from Adams Ribs in Chicago, with extra sauce

eh, im only 24 so mash may be a bit dated for me, i dont know it.....but im sure it would remind me too

[Loverotties]

OMG don't know MASH! didn't that stop a couple yrs ago?They have reruns all the time on cable like everynight.

[gouch]

Originally Posted by Loverotties

OMG don't know MASH! didn't that stop a couple yrs ago?They have reruns all the time on cable like everynight.

no no no, i know mash just not that episode, lol
everyone knows mash. i once had a part time job at best buy and sold the complete set of every episode for $500 no joke!!

[fishfarmer]

This maybe a dumb question but....Are we still ignoring this thread?! LOL

[Doug1]

yah kinda

[FishDaddy]

Yes, still ignoring.

One day, an employee received an unusually large paycheck. She decided not to say anything about it.

The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. “How come,” the supervisor inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?”

Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook one mistake – but not two in a row!”

[cath]

Originally Posted by FishDaddy

Yes, still ignoring.

One day, an employee received an unusually large paycheck. She decided not to say anything about it.

The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. “How come,” the supervisor inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?”

Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook one mistake – but not two in a row!”

Hahaha! I need a good joke for something at work, and that might be the one to use! Hmm..do I have time to study this entire thread?

[tdwyatt]

A Una-ite from Spartanburg County went to the dentist for the first time complaining of dental pain, only to find out that he had gingivitis so bad that he was going to lose a number of teeth. After the extraction, the dentist decided that the best way to give this unfortunate patient functionality was to place a dental plate in and attach artificial teeth to it. The procedure came and went, but upon return at 3 month follow-up, to the dentist dismay the plate had almost dissolved, with the new teeth close to falling out on their own. The dentist questioned the patient to find out if there was anything that he was eating or doing that might account for this dissolution of the plate, to which the patient replied that the only change in diet was that he had discovered hollandaise sauce, which he now liked so much that he put it on everything. The dentist requested a sample of this particular sauce the patient was using, then tested it on some different plate materials. The original plate material definitely dissolved when the sauce was left on it, so the dentist set about testing several different materials: stainless steel, several plastics, nickel, silver, gold, many other metals as well, but all dissolved with the exception of chrome, which seemed to be impervious to the culinary delight. The oral surgeon presented the info to the patient, but told him that it would probably be very shiny and noticeable, but the patient was not dismayed by this, even was delighted, so long as he could continue to eat his hollandaise sauce. So the dentist set to work and fashioned the new plate, put the teeth in, then fitted it to the patient, who was absolutely delighted to have functioning teeth.

Six weeks later, the patient came back for the follow-up. The dentist checked the new plate, and the patient’s new teeth, and they were perfect, no problem whatsoever, even though the patient had been consuming large amounts of hollandaise sauce still. The dentist told the patient that they teeth were great, and that the plate was holding up well, but just to be sure, asked him if there were any issues anyway.

The patient then said, “Doc, I love the teeth, and they are holding up so well and fit perfectly, but I am getting a little tired of the chrome plate and its shine, it keeps showing up every time I smile or talk; is there anything you can do, maybe something else for the plate material?"

The Dentist replied, "No, unfortunately not, we tested many materials and found...





...That there's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise."