testing, just ignore this thread

[Dragonist]

All I can say is WOW!

[tdwyatt]

A true story:

Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.......
As they walk, they come across a sign:
"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd you do?"
" First Place !" said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign:
"Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
" First Place ," answers Superman, "did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign:
"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
"I'm entering," says Pinocchio. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the hell is Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.

[FishDaddy]

This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you are still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear", she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.


"I think you're bad luck."

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by FishDaddy

This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you are still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear", she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.


"I think you're bad luck."

I guess that one way to look at it, but you know me Dick, I can't view it that way, my wife of 38 yrs has been the glue that has kept this all together, my wife and partner, mother to my children and grandma to my most treasured possessions. Guys NEVER take the women in your life for granted, your wives, your girl friends, your mothers, sisters, daughters.Trust me they are all special, and if you miss the chance to celebrate their uniquenss, you are missing out

[FishDaddy]

Originally Posted by Doug1

I guess that one way to look at it, but you know me Dick, I can't view it that way, my wife of 38 yrs has been the glue that has kept this all together, my wife and partner, mother to my children and grandma to my most treasured possessions. Guys NEVER take the women in your life for granted, your wives, your girl friends, your mothers, sisters, daughters.Trust me they are all special, and if you miss the chance to celebrate their uniquenss, you are missing out

That's the difference between pure love and a joke, Doug. Couples who have weathered storms together either cement the bond even stronger or fall apart. I'm proud for you and Dyan for being the former. Knowing you as one who takes commitment, loyalty, and honor seriously, I would expect nothing less. My post was just a joke but you know how I really feel.

Dick

[VWD]

Originally Posted by JennM

:::::::GROAN:::::::::

I can't believe this stinkin' thread is still going!

I'd put a joke in here but probably every joke I know has already been posted in this thread!

Jenn

MMR logo may be gone but we are still alive and well!!!

[gouch]

this is hilarious!!!!!!
just thought id add to the madness

[J-LUIS]

Ha ha to funny!

[tdwyatt]

I realize that NONE of you think that I would post political satire, so this must be the TRUTH...


The economy is so bad that ...

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Jewish women are marrying for love.

Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes.

If the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM and Chrysler.

Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfizer and Citigroup.

McDonalds is selling the 1/4-ouncer

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names

A truck of Americans was caught sneaking across the border into Mexico

The most highly paid job is now jury duty

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting

People in Africa are donating money to Americans

Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "Clean your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US?"

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

And finally... Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Hey, neat! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.

[FishDaddy]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

And finally... Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Hey, neat! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.

Well, being Masters Of The Game, they ought to know where to look.

[Phishnoob]

Originally Posted by FishDaddy

Well, being Masters Of The Game, they ought to know where to look.

Speaking of which..has anyone seen our 1.8 trillion?

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by Phishnoob

Speaking of which..has anyone seen our 1.8 trillion?

Did you look in Congress' back pocket?

[Phishnoob]

Originally Posted by Doug1

Did you look in Congress' back pocket?

I'll look for the union label.

[tdwyatt]

Originally Posted by Phishnoob

I'll look for the union label.

HEH! and I thought that I was a cynic...



I bow to the master.

[VWD]

John Smith started the day early having set his

alarmclock (MADE IN JAPAN)for 6 am .
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his
electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a
dress shirt
(MADE IN SRILANKA),

designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and
tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new
electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA )
he sat down with his
calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO )
to see how much he could spend today. After setting his
watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN )
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA )
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY )
filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia )
and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging
and fruitless day
checking his
Computer
(made in MALAYSIA),
John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL),
poured himself a glass of
wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his
TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can't
find a good paying job
in AMERICA