testing, just ignore this thread

[VWD]

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

[VWD]

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

[VWD]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little guy on your knee.

[Doug1]

Good Ones Vinny

[tdwyatt]

A very attractive blonde city girl marries a rich Texas rancher. They get to know each other over a few months, then settle down into the day-to-day life of running a cattle ranch. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the rancher says to her, "The insemination man from the breeder is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the right cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"

She nods 'Yes,' then kisses him goodbye and the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door of the farm house. The wife greets him, then leads him down to the barn where the breeding stock is kept. They walk along the row of cows and when the wife sees the nail, she tells the breeder, "This is the one, right here."

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me, lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple," she replies, "by the nail over its stall," she explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?"

She turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder. "I guess it's to hang your pants on..."




Every now and then I have to let the blondes win...

[tdwyatt]

Doug, check your PM's; should be there from last week, if not, re-PM me.

[Doug1]

resent, I am not finding it in my inbox, thanks

[tdwyatt]

You've Got Mail!

[Doug1]

Thank You Sir

[OneDummHikk]

Emails? Are there some jokes I missed out on?

[Doug1]

Nope, no jokes

[OneDummHikk]

No jokes in a joke thread, that sucks!! Who do I complain to?

[Doug1]

MY LIVING WILL
> >
> > Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and
> I said to her,
> > 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent
> on some machine
>
> > and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive.
> > That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever
> happens, just
> > pull the plug.'
> >
> > So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out
> my Biurbon.
> >
> > She's such a byach.

[OneDummHikk]

LOL, I have that one saved now.

[Doug1]

You have no idea how close to home that one hits ;0