testing, just ignore this thread

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by jenglish

On organic farms they till it like it is

Click BOOM

[jenglish]

Midwives don't like to wear breeches

[tdwyatt]

The poet had written better poems, but he'd also written verse.

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest

Two pencils decided to have a race. The outcome was a draw.

I would like to go to Holland one day, wooden shoe?

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

The poet had written better poems, but he'd also written verse.

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest

Two pencils decided to have a race. The outcome was a draw.

I would like to go to Holland one day, wooden shoe?

Do I need to say Air Strike ?

[tdwyatt]

Originally Posted by Doug1

Do I need to say Air Strike ?

Only if it means you'll be flying in for the Pig Roast on May 16th...

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

Only if it means you'll be flying in for the Pig Roast on May 16th...

Doode if I could pull that off I would Strangelove the bomb and defuze it on the way down

[tdwyatt]

somehow, this made me think of you, Doug: http://webmail.aol.com/41421/aol/en-...Flashlight.wmv

If this shortcut doesn't work, Google for movie: "Pre-Flight_Flashlight.wmv"

[richhershey]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

somehow, this made me think of you, Doug: http://webmail.aol.com/41421/aol/en-...Flashlight.wmv

If this shortcut doesn't work, Google for movie: "Pre-Flight_Flashlight.wmv"

Now I know what to get him for Christmas!

[tdwyatt]

Sometimes it helps to describe how new programs work in Washington by using a short homolie as an analogy for the new program. I will describe the new (Democratic party) financial stimulus plan as such:

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from South Carolina. All three men go with a White House official to examine the fence. The South Carolinean contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run somewhere in the vicinity of $900: about $400 for materials, about $400 for my crew and something like $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor (from Sevierville) also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for less; a total of $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700..."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy fromTennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

[jenglish]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

Don't make me break out my republican jokes, we could be here all night.

[FishDaddy]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

Doing things the Chicago way is why we need something like a spendulus to bail us out.

If Wall Street & the Guvmint had done things the Tennessee way, we wouldn't be in this fix now.

Dick

[VWD]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

Sometimes it helps to describe how new programs work in Washington by using a short homolie as an analogy for the new program. I will describe the new (Democratic party) financial stimulus plan as such:



And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from South Carolina. All three men go with a White House official to examine the fence. The South Carolinean contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run somewhere in the vicinity of $900: about $400 for materials, about $400 for my crew and something like $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor (from Sevierville) also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for less; a total of $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700..."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy fromTennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

[tdwyatt]

Heh!

My Dad sent me thi9s one from one of his math buddies, simple substitution algebra...


What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giv ing more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and


K-N-O-W- L- E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-$-H-!-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ***** kissing will take you.

A-$-$-K-I-$-$-I-N-G***
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with ma thematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bull$hit and *****- kissing that will put you over the top.

I wonder which school he works for?

Originally Posted by quotable mod

"REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM"--Doug the West Coast Mod

[tdwyatt]

Hmmm... I'll have to work on my autocensoring foiling skills

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by tdwyatt

somehow, this made me think of you, Doug: http://webmail.aol.com/41421/aol/en-...Flashlight.wmv

If this shortcut doesn't work, Google for movie: "Pre-Flight_Flashlight.wmv"

12 mins left for the download
I love that quote you use farther down the line