testing, just ignore this thread

[richhershey]

Darn . . . I was going for 100 posts, but the last 3 say 98.

Bummer!

[OneDummHikk]

That's because posts in Margaritaville don't count towards post count

[richhershey]

In that case . . .

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!

[tdwyatt]

I guess that means that they put Ice cream in their coffee...

[jenglish]

Do you know how to catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Then surround it with peas. When he comes up to take a pea.....




you kick him in the ice-hole

[richhershey]

Ice cream . . . Oh, Yea!

Originally Posted by jenglish

Do you know how to catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Then surround it with peas. When he comes up to take a pea.....

you kick him in the ice-hole

Now that's a good one!

[tdwyatt]

Keeping in line with the list of poor jokes, I offer the following:

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"

He replied, "No. I work for a condom company, these are customer complaints."

[OneDummHikk]

I think you took the top honors with that one Tom. I like it though

Ben (Caball) told me one last week or so:

A little boy was abused and beat at home and was finally removed from the home.
When he went to court, the judge asked him "If you could pick where you live at, where would you pick?" He replied "I would like to go live with the Detroit Lions". The jduge thought it admirable and asked why he would pick the Detroit Lions, the little boy replied "Because they don't beat ANYBODY".

[jenglish]

Do you know how to keep bears out of your yard?












Paint an endzone in it

[jenglish]

So a rabbi who performs circumcision decides that it is wasteful to not do anything with all of the foreskins. So he gives a bag of foreskins to a tanner and asks him to make something. A week later the tanner comes over and hands him a wallet.
The rabbi says "I gave you all of those foreskins and all you can make was a single wallet?"

The tanner replies, " but if you rub it it becomes a briefcase!"

[tdwyatt]

Originally Posted by jenglish

The rabbi says "I gave you all of those foreskins and all you can make was a single wallet?"

The tanner replies, " but if you rub it it becomes a briefcase!"

Heh heh hehh!

Tht one made me LOL!

[tdwyatt]

Subject: Beer troubleshooting, employ at Gerhards after entering for dark German bier!
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet
FAULT: Glass being held at improper angle
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling


SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet
FAULT: Improper bladder control
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training


SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tastless
FAULT: Glass empty
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer


SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights
FAULT: You have fallen backward
ACTION: Have yourself lashed to the bar


SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts
FAULT: You have fallen foreward
ACTION: See above


SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of shirt is wet
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer


SYMPTOM: Floor moving
FAULT: You are being carried out
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar


SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark
FAULT: Bar has closed
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender


SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations
ACTION: Cover mouth


SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up at you and smiles
FAULT: You are dancing on the table
ACTION: Fall on someone cushy-looking


SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up
ACTION: Punch him


SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
FAULT: You have been in a fight
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them


SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party
ACTION: See if they have free beer


SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted
FAULT: The beer is too weak (Budweiser)
ACTION: Switch back to dark beer and drink more until your voice improves


SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song
FAULT: Beer is just right
ACTION: Play air guitar


SYMPTOM: You are surrounded by beautiful babes
FAULT: Too much beer
ACTION: Chew your arm off in the morning rather than waking up such new-found beauty

[Stang69]

My Gawd I cant believe this post is still running

[Phishnoob]

Originally Posted by Stang69

My Gawd I cant believe this post is still running

Heya Stang.

Nope it is just getting warmed up.

[Doug1]

Originally Posted by Phishnoob

Heya Stang.

Nope it is just getting warmed up.

Tru Dat

Hey Perry, they stole your avatar and used it on the History Channel