Stella Awards

[HermitSolo]

Hot dog, it's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"!

(Just too funny or sad depending on your outlook on todays society.)

For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and
successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the
coffee.

That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits
and verdicts that happened in the U.S. during 2006. You know, the
kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head
scratcher handy. Here are the "Stellas" for the past year:

To kick things off the right way, there was a three-way tie for 5th
place.

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a
jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler
who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were
understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running
toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.


Also in 5th place is Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California -
you knew California had to be in the list somewhere, right? - who won
$74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand
with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was
someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his
neighbor's hubcaps.


Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.


The last of the 5th Place winners was Terrence Dickson, of Bristol,
Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of
the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener
malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage
to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to
subsist for eight - count 'em, 8! - days on a case of Pepsi and a large
bag
of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company
claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the
insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We
should all have this kind of anguish.


Keep scratching. There are more.

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in
the "Stellas" when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after
being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even
though the beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced yard.
Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury
believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt
bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and
repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Third Place went to Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania,
because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500
after she slipped on soft drink and broke her tailbone (coccyx). The
reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Hang in there; there are only two more "Stellas" to go.

Second Place: Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner
of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom
window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to
avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had
to pay her $12,000. Oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.

Finally, this year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was
Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new
32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home - from an OU
football game, no less - having driven on to the free way, she set
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go
to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Don't look
so incredulous. Remember, we're talking about Oklahoma here. Not
surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for
not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave
the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury
awarded her - you are sitting down, right? - $1,750,000 PLUS a new
motor home.



Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of
this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might
buy a motor home.

Where did these juries come from? Unbelievable. If I can't rob
your house, I'll take you to the cleaners in court. If my kid causes
an accident that breaks my tail bone, I'll sue the other fella.
If I break my hand trying to steal your car parts, I'll rip
your arm off for my failure in court. If your dog bites me while I'm
in your yard trespassing, shooting your pet, your bohunk is mine in
court. If my usual can't buy or get in without paying the price
fails and I fall down go boom in the process SOME ONE OWES ME CAUSE
I'M SPECIAL. And please tell me where the woman and her NEW
Winnebago is living cause she's scary & I want to STEER clear.

[Gilraen Took]

I've heard the motorhome one before. Except it was a guy who was making a cup of coffee. . .

Still funny though. God I hate the stupid people in our society. . . Who's with me for a mass move to someplace in Europe?

[theplatypus]

Sorry these are all fake.

http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

[HermitSolo]

Dang it was funny though. Thanks for all the info. I usually go there first, but i guess I got suckered on this one.