finally rules for women !!!!

[tims]

Men's Rules!
>
>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
>down
>
>Finally, the guys side of the story.
>
>We always hear "the rules"from the female side. Now
>here are the rules
>from the male side. These are our rules!
>
>Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
>If it's up, put it
>down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear

>us complaining
>about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the
>changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going
>to think of it
>that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one:
>Subt le hints do
>not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
>not work! Just
>say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
>almost every question.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
>solving it. That's
>what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
>See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
an
>argument. In
>fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
>girls, don't expect us
>to act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
>ask us.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
>and one of the ways
>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
>how you want it
>done.
>Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just

>do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to

>say during
>commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
>neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default
>settings.
>Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is
>also a fruit.
>We have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
>will act like
>nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
just
>not worth the
>hassle.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

>expect an answer
>you don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
>you wear is fine...
>
>Really.
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
>are prepared to
>discuss such topics as, baseball, the shotgun
>formation, or monster
>trucks.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
>1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to

>sleep on the couch
>tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that,

>it's like camping.

[cath]

hehehehe! I knew it would come to this

Tim- I hate to disappoint you, but I agree with the first #1 about the toilet seat.

In regards to all the rest, I think Lainie Kazan's delivery of the line from Greek Wedding says it the best ....

" The men may be the head of the house but the women are the neck and they can turn the head anyway they want."

[icebear]

Half of those don't even apply to me...LOL

i am female...i own one pair of shoes, 5 pairs of jeans and about 20 gray Tshirts. my only jewlery is the 8 small silver hoops i wear in my ears and my wedding ring. I have to fight with hubby over the right to stay up to watch late night sports, he'd rather 'cuddle'.

i don't cry to get what i want, i just go out and get it.

he has his bathroom, i have mine...the status of the terlet seat is a non issue

i don't get 'headaches' i only refuse when i'm fertile or if my sports team loses my libido is inextricably linked to the results of my favorite teams.


the only things i shop for are my hobby stuff, yeah some of its girly- like textiles, but thats how i know i should be married to a Man and that there's not something desperately wrong with my hormones.


soap opera guys make me sick, if my hubby ever acted like one of them wishy-washy, sappy, effeminate losers i'd boot his hiney out the door

camping is fun!

now go get me that beer!




i like how they are all posted as #1.. makes it easier for you guys to keep track huh?


Good joke...

[Casey]

Ice your a nutt

[tims]

as cold as it has been heather i have to keep the beer in the refrig. so it does not freeze on the porch...

[icebear]

i've been able to keep the wine perfectly chilled in the kitchen cupboards- they back up to the outside walls so they stay very cool if we don't leave them cracked open. its great to have wine at the perfect temp. Wish it was like that in the summer.

I've had a couple bags of ice stored on the side door step for 3 weeks now. Why use up the freezer space on ice

[SouthernReefer]

"i don't get 'headaches' i only refuse when i'm fertile or if my sports team loses my libido is inextricably linked to the results of my favorite teams."



you can't be a arizona cardinal fan or washington wizard fan, cuz you'd be divorced by now

[paulF]

Hey Ice can my wife stay for you for a few weeks?? it'll be like boot camp for wives

[Doug1]

Ouch!!!!!!!! surprised no one has retaliated with Rules for Men