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08-16-2004, 07:29 PM
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#1
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senior member
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Walnut Grove, SC, USA
Posts: 13,316
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Do you know your political orientation?
Subject: Are You A Democrat, Republican, or a Southern Republican?
What with elections coming up, we should all decide.
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You have a concealed weapons permit and are carrying a Glock 9mm and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds to react before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.... What if I...
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click click click click...
(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click click click
(sound of new clip)
"Honey, do you have an extra clip?
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver hollow tips??"
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__________________
Tom <"))))>(
(TDWyatt)
Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -Plato
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08-16-2004, 07:45 PM
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#2
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Thats MRS Minion !!!!!!!!!!!
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: BFE Idaho
Posts: 160
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Omg...ROFL!!!...I've actually heard something to that extent back out in South Carolina/Alabama. Too funny! 
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Christy
Proud Member of the BRW Crowd
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08-16-2004, 08:01 PM
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#3
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 1999
Location: Southern Oregon, Way West of Dimples ;)
Posts: 21,483
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tdwyatt
Subject: Are You A Democrat, Republican, or a Southern Republican?
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click click click click...
(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click click click
(sound of new clip)
"Honey, do you have an extra clip?
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver hollow tips??"
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Answers daughter, "why No Honey them there is them 165 gr hydroshock Federal's in .45
Sorry, I live in the south(of Oregon) 
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I'm not going to wake you, I'll go easy on your heart
I'll just touch your face and drift away , like smoke rings in the dark
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08-16-2004, 08:49 PM
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#4
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Oh no...not again!!!
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 5,278
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After fetching Christy in South Carolina and stealing her away (think officer and a gentleman as I carried her out of the post office, but the guy is way uglier) and witnessing two guys in full camo on a Tuesday get in a fistfight over a coffee lid at the gas station I will believe anything.
Then the respective "ladies" jumped in as well.
If it wasn't for decent biscuits and gravy or grits I would never want to head that way again.
Someplace I put my "Don't honk I'm reloading" bumper sticker. I can slap that on the back window of the BMW and make everyone scratch their head.
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Perry 
BCRS Plankowner
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08-16-2004, 09:09 PM
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#5
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senior member
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Walnut Grove, SC, USA
Posts: 13,316
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Phishnoob
...If it wasn't for decent biscuits and gravy or grits I would never want to head that way again...
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HEH!!!
somehow we still find an occasional intellectual oasis here,
but then there's Charleston...
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Tom <"))))>(
(TDWyatt)
Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -Plato
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08-17-2004, 03:10 PM
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#6
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Thats MRS Minion !!!!!!!!!!!
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: BFE Idaho
Posts: 160
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tdwyatt
but then there's Charleston... |
So....what are you trying to say??? That's where I moved from!
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Christy
Proud Member of the BRW Crowd
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08-17-2004, 09:48 PM
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#7
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senior member
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Walnut Grove, SC, USA
Posts: 13,316
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"...Why Christy, whatevah doo youuu meayahn???"
you forget that I' m the resuhlt of several genahrations of propah Charlestoonian upbringin'...
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Tom <"))))>(
(TDWyatt)
Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -Plato
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08-17-2004, 11:47 PM
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#8
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Little Fishy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Harriman TN
Posts: 177
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tdwyatt
"...Why Christy, whatevah doo youuu meayahn???"
you forget that I' m the resuhlt of several genahrations of propah Charlestoonian upbringin'...
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Does this mean that when I visit we are going to drink beer and get in fights??
wOOt!!!
I'll be there this week-end!!!!
You can show this yankee how to have a good time!!
lol
John
P.S. What the heck is a mint julep and do you people actually drink them?
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08-18-2004, 08:58 AM
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#9
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Big Fishy
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: So. CA
Posts: 948
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Too Funny!
I've decided it doesn't matter who the prez is - all that matters is what Congress is.
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BWR member
Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be counted, counts.
Al Einstein
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08-18-2004, 10:06 AM
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#10
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TRT Staff The Mominator
Join Date: Jan 1999
Location: Just South Of Seattle
Posts: 10,495
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I tried a mint julep when I went to Kentucky. Blech.
Put ice in a glass, add a spoonful of sugar, poke a mint leaf or two into the ice, then pour bourbon over the top.
(shudder)
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 "A BRW Original"
Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow... 
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08-18-2004, 10:20 AM
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#11
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Golden Shellback
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Rising Sun, MD
Posts: 1,282
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I thought you were supposed to put mint leaves in the bottom of the glass, add sugar, crush the mint leaves and sugar together, add ice, add burbon, quick stir.
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You know, come to think of it, I'm not afraid of ants. I never was. It's just when they all come running out of a lady's pants like that... yech, creepy. And isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, ooh ooh ooh, the sky is the limit! - The Tick
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08-18-2004, 10:23 AM
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#12
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Little Fishy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Harriman TN
Posts: 177
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Sounds nasty either way to me....
I don't like mint or sugar.
Gimme a good frozen marguerita or spicy bloody mary any time over that.
John
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08-18-2004, 12:39 PM
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#13
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proud OFR
Join Date: May 2004
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 93
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im a liberal conservative, conservative when it comes to crime and liberal on gun control....i found the perfect crime prevention sign for in front of my house,,,simply says "100yd night shoot M-16" with this pic stapled below it.
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08-18-2004, 12:45 PM
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#14
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Golden Shellback
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Rising Sun, MD
Posts: 1,282
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Nice Grouping! I count about 26 holes?
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You know, come to think of it, I'm not afraid of ants. I never was. It's just when they all come running out of a lady's pants like that... yech, creepy. And isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, ooh ooh ooh, the sky is the limit! - The Tick
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08-18-2004, 12:54 PM
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#15
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Little Fishy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Harriman TN
Posts: 177
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Witfull
im a liberal conservative, conservative when it comes to crime and liberal on gun control....i found the perfect crime prevention sign for in front of my house,,,simply says "100yd night shoot M-16" with this pic stapled below it.
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But the liberals dont want you to own a gun.
Period.
Once that happens that pic wont deter a thing because the crooks will know all the law abiding citizens wont have guns and if they do get shot they can sue you for a million dollars.....
John
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