2003

[Spanky]

You know you are living in the year 2003 when:
1. Your reason for not staying in touch with some family and friends is because they do not have e-mail.

2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

3. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

4. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

5. Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen.

6. You buy a computer and 3 months later it's out of date and sells for half the price, or less than you paid for it.

7. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.

8. Using real money, instead of a credit or debit card, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.

9. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

10. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

11. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

12. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.

13. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

14. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.

15. You disconnect from the Internet and you get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

16. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

17. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on your way back to bed.

18. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :-)

19. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

20. Even worse; you know exactly who you are going to forward this to!

[Doug1]

Spanky, thats just not right
Excuse me I have to go slop the hogs now

[Spanky]

Profound thoughts
1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.


2. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally,
but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15
years.

Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and
those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of
immigration.

3. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday...
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant.
Every table had an argument going.

6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days,
no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice
about a woman is her eyes, and women say the first thing they notice
about men is they're a bunch of liars.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred
dollars,
and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.
I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

13. There is a theory which states that if the uneducated common man
discovers
exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly
disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

14. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.
I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

15. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

[Alice]

16. Don't worry about what people think.....they don't do it very often!

[Junkzoo]

Jerel, LMAO
Slow week at work?

[Spanky]

A visiting foreigner walks into an Irish pub and proclaims loudly
"I will pay 100 pounds to the man who can drink 25 pints of guiness in a sitting." the crowd murmurs and a man gets up and leaves. Half an hour later the man comes back and drinks 25 pints all at once
"congratulations" the foreigner proclaims "but why did you leave 30 minutes ago?"

"I had to make sure I could do it first"

[cyberchef]

Have you heard about the Irishman who stayed sober???



It could happen...

[JennM]

Once upon a time there were two Irishmen.




That's when the fighting started.

Jenn