How do you mourn?

[XeniaGirl]

I lost my royal gramma this morning. I am really upset - he was full grown when we got him a long time ago and the tank specs/other inhabitants are fine so I'm sure he just died of old age. Still, I feel awful.
It really sucks that, no matter how well you take care of your creatures, they will eventually die anyway.
I just wanted to see how other people handle it when their fish die. I definitely want to get another fish eventually but I don't want to replace him.
I think as soon as we start to lose sight of the significance of each living thing, we need to get out of this hobby.

[dobejazz]

So Sorry for your loss

It's tough to loose anything isn't it

[Loverotties]

Sorry for your loss!

[XeniaGirl]

In a way I feel kind of stupid being that sad about "just a fish"... he had a good life, we had him for a while and I don't think he suffered that much (God knows he didn't suffer while he was stuffing his face!). Still... I hate the fact that, even if you do every little thing right with water changes, upgrading equipment, water testing, feeding, etc... they're still going to die one day.

That makes part of me not even want to do the hobby anymore. I really care genuinely about every living thing that I take care of, and I hate to lose them. (I cried when Pinchy, our moon crab and my avatar, died of old age too and I bawled like a baby when we lost Mr. B, our bicolor blenny). Part of me always feels like a murderer, or like it's my fault, even though the logical part of me knows that's not true (I am, after all, a woman).

So... I'm not sure if there's anything else to be said. I just didn't know if anyone has any rituals or quirky things that they do when they lose a pet.

Although I'm trying to convince my fiancee that getting me a bigger tank today would help my grieving process...

[tlgreve]

I do.
I refuse to "just fiush it" as some people do. I agree with your opinion of a fish's life. I think it is expecially true with saltwater fish. I believe when you buy a saltwater fish that has been removed from its natural habitat, you create a kind of agreement with that fish that you will take care of it as good as or better than it would be in nature. To me, thats the only responsible thing to do.
What do I do? (besides cry if it was one of my favorites) is buy an appropriate plant and bury it. I just lost one of my bearded dragons, I bought it a yucca because yuccas are kind of prickly and are evergreens, just like my bearded dragon being spikey and was always there. I will always have the yucca to look at when I miss her. I know it's rather sappy, but thats what i do.
If its not an animal that I have strong attachment to, (like a neon tetra) I have a decorative rock that I put them under.

[XeniaGirl]

Those are great ideas! Thank you so much. And I totally agree with you - if you're going to remove a fish from the ocean you want to make its life as great as possible.
Your post was really helpful to me. Thank you again Traci.

[ChrisPrusha]

I take every fish loss pretty hard. It's just how I am wired. I am sorry for your loss.